just realizations.

Okay, so first post, entry, box filled with words!

I had actually started a blog similar to this one years ago when I was in grade 9. It was a devotional blog as well and I had completely forgotten about it! I got so busy with school that it slowly slunk into the shadows until I suddenly thought about it today. I pulled it up on my phone and threw myself into reading each post carefully with bated breath.

It was such a strange and foreign feeling to be reading something of mine; sentences and paragraphs that the "past me" had written. By the time I had finished reading it, I felt a bit embarrassed (I was quite the dramatic ninth grader) but I was also more aware of myself than ever before. The fact that I had recorded those particular moments in writing indicate that they were important to me in some way or another. I had gained something from those moments, learned something from those moments. And when I look back on them today, I can somehow feel the same emotions that coursed through me all those years ago.

In every blog post, I was a young girl and yet I wasn't at the same time. And I guess journaling, or blogging does that to you. When reminiscing and writing down a realization or an event, you tend to analyze the emotions you were experiencing in that very moment. In a way, it is almost like looking through your body to your soul, to yourself to experience everything all over again. By the time you've finished your analysis, you feel older; not physically but you are now suffused with more wisdom.

And suddenly every blurred thought that invaded your mind in that moment, is clear. Every hurdle you encountered is in reality a stepping stone. Every painful experience is actually a lesson.

No blurriness.

Just realizations.